Christian Apologetics

Just thought I'd address some of the points made here: http://www.ranker.com/list/top-20-bible-passages-to-use-against-fundamentalists/ivana-wynn

I'm human, so my studies may be flawed, but I'll give it my best shot.

To begin with, I'll quote my brother: "First, you have to understand that the Bible is to be taken as a whole. Much of the Old Testament was expressly fulfilled in the New Testament, and is specifically said to be no longer binding for Christians. Culture and context also tell us a lot. For example, the OT law was given at a time when Israel was a theocracy. Many of the laws are not possible to enforce except in the supernatural context of a theocracy. Clearly those laws aren't applicable to us right now. Second, even if we ignore the theocratic government of Israel at the time, the whole nation agreed to a covenant. In the absence of such a national covenant, many laws are again, impossible to enforce. They cannot be enforced by individuals, but require the unified cooperation of family, church, and state."

That sets a good prerequisite for a lot of them, but I'll do my best to address each one still.

1. No Bastards May Enter the Church

That statement is based on this verse: "No one born of a forbidden union may enter the assembly of the LORD. Even to the tenth generation, none of his descendants may enter the assembly of the LORD." (Deuteronomy 23:2)

This meant they couldn't be leaders of the church because it was considered un-holy to be born out of wedlock. We are now made holy by Christ though, and new standards for church leadership are given 1 Timothy 3:1-7 (http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Timothy+3%3A1-7&version=ESV)

2. Women Will Never Teach or Have Authority Over Men

This is based on Timothy 2:11-12, "Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet." Also relevant is 1 Corinthians 14:34-15, "The wives should keep silent in the churches ... [they] should be in submission, as the Law also says. If they have questions, let them ask their husbands at home."

There's plenty of controversy over this that I don't particularly want to get into on the internet.  But regardless, the Bible makes it clear that husbands have the responsibility of being the spiritual leaders of their homes, and wives are to submit to that. And for the wife to raise questions and disputes in the church was considered to be stepping out from under the leadership of the husband. Paul is discouraging that.

This does not at all mean that women can't teach men or be in authority over men in their jobs or wherever.

3. Divorce and Remarrying Are Both Considered Adultery

This is a definite teaching of Christianity, so I have nothing to refute as far as that statement. I'd even take it a step further by mentioning that Jesus taught in Matthew 5:28 that looking at someone with lust is adultery. I will refute the conclusions Ivana makes based on that though.

He says that, "According to this passage, all members of the congregation that have been divorced and/or remarried would be sinners and should be kicked out of the church." and that "If anyone ... has ever been divorced or re-married, then they are going to hell."

This is where Ivana clearly doesn't understand what Christians believe. The fact is, we do believe that lust and divorce and pre-marital-sex and every other sin makes us guilty before God and that as a good judge, our sins do make us deserving of hell.  BUT, the core of our belief is that Jesus paid the punishment for that sin FOR us, making us holy and righteous before God.  Yes, we're sinners. But praise God for taking the punishment for that sin for us if we put our trust in Him rather than ourselves or anyone/anything else. So his conclusion that those people should be shunned or kicked out of church or will go to hell has absolutely no basis. It means we're deserving of hell -- just like everyone who's ever lied, stolen, lusted, used God's name as a curse, etc. It means we're sinners. But that is exactly what Christianity is all about -- God reconciling sinners to Himself.

4. Even A Look Counts As Adultery

No argument here. See #3.

Ivana seems to think that an imperfect Christian is a hypocrite, when in reality, without the belief that we are sinners, Christianity doesn't even make sense.

5. Love Thy Neighbor. Seriously.

Based on this verse: "You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him. You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord." (Leviticus 19: 17-18)

I agree wholeheartedly with Ivana on this one and their conclusion. I do think that the Westboro Baptist Church's protests and such are extremely un-Christian and wrong. I don't know any Christians who endorse anything done by that church.

This verse is an example of how I believe that the Bible put into action makes the world a better place.

6. Non-Virgins Are To Be Stoned (As in, with Rocks)

From Deuteronomy 22: 20-21 "But if this thing be true, and the tokens of virginity be not found for the damsel: Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father's house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you."

I'd like to add verse 22 also, "If a man be found lying with a woman married to an husband, then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel."

See my brother's comment at the beginning of this post.  Here we see that all forms of adultery and fornication were punishable by death. God clearly takes these sins very seriously, and they weren't permitted in the theocracy of Israel. We're not in a theocracy any more though.

7. A Woman's Punishment For Defending Her Husband = Cut Off Her Hand

This one's kinda funny to me.  Based on Deuteronomy 25:11-12. Basically, if two guys are fighting and one of their wives came to help and grabbed the other guy's balls as a method of attack, they were to cut off her hand and not pity her for it. Again -- this was a theocracy, so not something to be enforced today. Many people would still consider that to be shameful and dishonorable today though. 

8. Men With Wounded Penises or No Testicles Are Not Allowed in Church

Based on Deuteronomy 23:1. This kinda goes along with #1, where un-clean/un-holy/imperfect people weren't allowed to be priests or whatever. This doesn't apply to us today, as we are made holy through Christ, and even at the time it was not to demean the maimed, but rather to show how perfect and holy God is.

9. Your Family Is Your Enemy and You Are All Competing for God's Love

Based on Matthew 10:35-27, "For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law. And a man's foes shall be they of his own household. He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me."

No doubt any Christians who come from Muslim families or any others who forbid anyone in their religion to convert to other religions can identify with this verse very well. We probably don't get this as much here in America, but both in the area Jesus was then and in many parts of the world today, believing in Christ literally meant/means being cut off from your family and household and rejected. That's not His goal, but it is a result of the radical change that takes place when a person decides to put God #1 in their life above everything and everyone else.  And yes -- it is saying that God does have to be our #1.  Nowhere does it say we're competing for God's love though.

10. Women Must Cover Their Hair During Prayer

"But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoureth her head..." 1 Corinthians 11:5

First of all, as I understand it, this is referring to praying aloud and teaching in the church, and "her head" at the end is referring to her husband. So sort of along with #2, this was a way of her showing respect for and submission to her husband if/when she did teach in the church.

And Paul goes on to say, "Judge for yourselves: Is it proper for a woman to pray to God with her head uncovered? Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him, but that if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For long hair is given to her as a covering. If anyone wants to be contentious about this, we have no other practice—nor do the churches of God."

This sounds like a cultural thing to me. As I understand it, he's basically saying, "Use your own judgement on this. Is it proper? Doesn't what I'm saying fit in with what you observe around you? But if you don't agree with me, I'm just letting you know that this is pretty standard in all the churches."

And I think in our culture and what it means to have your head covered or to have long/short hair, the exact statements here don't really apply. And Paul gives us the freedom to judge for ourselves rather or not it's proper.

11. Giving Birth to a Daughter Makes You Unclean for 66 Days

"But if she bear a maid child, then she shall be unclean two weeks, as in her separation: and she shall continue in the blood of her purifying threescore and six days." (Leviticus 12:5)

Ivana's conclusions on this are disgusting. It's along the same lines as #1 and #8. There were constant things made to remind them of their un-cleanness before God. This doesn't mean that they had to "go through 66 days of church-mandated shame". Rather it was part of a ton of other commandments that were constant reminders to the Israelites of their own un-cleanness before God and their need for His grace to be right with Him. Again -- believers today are made clean/holy by Christ's sacrifice for us.

12. Cursing At Your Parents Warrants Death

"For every one that curses his father or his mother shall be surely put to death: he hath cursed his father or his mother; his blood shall be upon him." (Leviticus 20:9)

Goes along with #6. God's commandments are a serious thing and breaking them is serious. We're not in a theocracy any more though, so we shouldn't carry out this punishment today.

13. If You Disobey God, You Will Eat Your Babies

"If in spite of this you still do not listen to me but continue to be hostile toward me, then in my anger I will be hostile toward you, and I myself will punish you for your sins seven times over. You will eat the flesh of your sons and the flesh of your daughters." (Leviticus 26:27-30)

Ivana says, "If you break even a single one of these rules, you need to eat your children. Doesn't matter how old they are, doesn't matter what you do, but if you disobey God and his ways, he's going to wreak some serious havoc."

This is just ridiculous. First of all, this verse is pulled out of context. It is in a long list where God is basically telling the entire nation how the world works. He's saying, look, if, as a nation, you do things my way, then things are going to work really well for you. But if you don't, things are going to work out really badly for you.  And we see this in reality. Nations who have followed God's principles have prospered, while those who don't, don't. And you do see cultures and religions who reject God doing things as extreme as eating their own children.

The passage is God saying, "Look. My way really is best."

Ivana's conclusion that if you break a single commandment, you need to eat your children is preposterous and has no backing at all. The passage isn't even talking about individuals, but rather an entire nation/culture. And this isn't a command. It's telling what will happen.

14. If You Steal Something, or Sin in Any Way: Cut Off Your Hand

"And if thy hand offend thee, cut it off: it is better for thee to enter into life maimed, than having two hands to go into hell, into the fire that never shall be quenched." (Mark 9:43)

This goes along with #9 where I talked about how God has to be our #1. I'm not entirely sure how fundamentalists interpret this passage, but it seems to me even by the way it's worded to perhaps be hyperbole and along the same lines as Hebrews 12:1-2, "let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith."  Basically, there's nothing more important than following Christ -- so if anything is preventing you from following Him, get rid of it. Better to live without it than to go to hell eternally.

Part of why I think it's hyperbole is the fact that our hand is not really what's responsible for us sinning. Our minds control our hands. But He states it very clearly and strongly that if something's preventing us from following Him, get rid of it -- no matter what the cost -- because it's more than worth it.

15. No Sex During A Woman's Period

"...thou shalt not approach unto a woman to uncover her nakedness, as long as she is put apart for her uncleanness." (Leviticus 18:19)

In the Old Testament, blood was considered holy. And women were considered un-clean while on their periods. And men were considered unclean if they made any contact with it. It all served as a constant reminder to everyone of their un-cleanness before God.

Jesus's blood made all things clean, so this doesn't apply to us after Christ. The Levitical ceremonial laws do not apply today. There is no biblical reason why a married couple cannot have sex during the wife’s period. Today, this issue must be decided by a husband and wife in the spirit of “mutual consent” as 1 Corinthians 7:5 describes.

16. If Your Brother Dies, You Need to Bang His Wife

Based on Deuteronomy 25:5-6, "If brothers are living together and one of them dies without a son, his widow must not marry outside the family. Her husband’s brother shall take her and marry her and fulfill the duty of a brother-in-law to her. The first son she bears shall carry on the name of the dead brother so that his name will not be blotted out from Israel."

Again, this was old testament in the theocracy of Israel. Also, the passage goes on state that he doesn't have to if he doesn't want to, but that it was considered shameful for him to refuse. It's not saying, "bang her", it's saying marry her and be her husband and love her, and let the firstborn take the name of the dead brother so his name/lineage will continue. Ivana even says, "From a traveling crowd of people that were homeless for 40 years, this actually makes sense... but not so much for this day and age."  I kind of agree.  And I would contend that it's not meant for this day and age.  All the laws in this section are for the Jewish nation.

17. Deformed People Cannot Approach God

"For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous, Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded, Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken. No man that hath a blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the Lord made by fire: he hath a blemish; he shall not come nigh to offer the bread of his God." (Leviticus 21:18-21) 

Goes right along with #8. The priests who offered sacrifices were to be clean and "perfect". Again, Christians are made clean/holy by Jesus, and we can now all approach God through Him.

18. Discipline Your Little Ones

Ivana uses Psalm 137:9, "How blessed will be the one who seizes and dashes your little ones against the rock." which isn't even talking about discipline at all. Rather, it's part of a song/poem talking about when Israel was in captivity of Babylon. Verse 8 is, "O daughter of Babylon, you devastated one, how blessed will be the one who repays you with the recompense with which you have repaid us."

This is a song/poem written by David. "your little ones" was "Babylon's children". This is a poetic way of referring to the Babylonians. We're commanded by Jesus to love our enemies and to do good to those who hate us. I would conclude from this, though, that it's certainly proper for the oppressed to pray to God for freedom and for Him to make the oppressors collapse. Perhaps if you imagine the Jews singing or writing this about Hitler it won't seem so wrong to you.

As far as disciplining children though, there are other verses in the Bible that do tell parents to discipline their children properly and train them.  You can usually tell if this is done or not based on rather or not a child is a complete brat. Ivana tries to twist this unrelated verse into saying that you'll enjoy beating your kids and hitting them with rocks. No verses in the Bible say this though -- rather discipline is always for the good of the child.

19. Give A Thief Your Belongings

"If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, let him have your coat also." (Matthew 5:40)

This is in a passage where Jesus is speaking against the whole, "Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth." philosophy and telling us to do the opposite. It goes along with the verse in #5 about loving others and not seeking revenge and such. Instead of hating our enemies, we are to love them. Instead of being scrooges, help people. He's calling us to a whole new life built around serving and loving others rather than being focused on ourselves.

I faced something somewhat similar to this personally when I was accused falsely for something and had the choice of either hanging on to it and doing everything in my power to bring down my accuser, or trust God with it and let it go. I tried to fight it quite a while, but it was only after I let it go that I had peace. I believe Jesus is truly calling us to a radical life of selflessness and loving and serving. Do we as Christians always do this? No. It's a high calling to be sure, and we fail, and we sin in our failure. But that doesn't make Jesus's calling something to mock. Rather, it's something to strive for. A purpose in life that does bring joy and peace.

Ivana's conclusion that "God didn't honestly grant his followers free will and in reality wants to turn them into obedient and mindless robots who can't think for themselves" doesn't even make sense to me. We are told to think for ourselves. But our thinking as Christians should be different because we know that God is our provider, and that we glorify Him by following Him.

20. Invite Your Attacker To Beat You More

"But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also." (Matthew 5:39)

This is in the very same passage refuting the "Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth" attitude. It doesn't mean that if someone's trying to kill you that you should just let them. A smack on the cheek is meant to provoke a fight. We should be above such provokes, and as Romans 12:18 says, "If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men."

Thin Ice -- My interpretation

It can have multiple meanings, but the primary one I was thinking of was someone trying to be perfect for someone they're in a relationship with in every way they know how, and being frustrated because the other person is angry so much and isn't responding the way they want.  This isn't about an abusive or horrible relationship, even though it might kinda sound like it.  It's more about two normal people, people like I've seen plenty of times, one of whom (I'll assume it's a male for my explanation) is dissatisfied with life and therefore grumpy, and the other (assuming female for the example -- the one talking) is trying to find everything they need in that dissatisfied person, and being frustrated by it.

I'm tiptoeing
Trying not to make a sound
It might be too loud
Or maybe you want me to talk now?

She's tiptoeing around, trying to do everything right, afraid of making him person upset.  She feels like anything she does could set him off, so she's basically trying to not exist. Or maybe he wants her to talk now? The uncertainty of how to please him is miserable.

I'm terified
Even though you won't hurt me
But your words might sting
Even though they are not meant for me

She's constantly afraid of setting him off, upsetting him, maybe even being yelled at.  But in the back of her mind, she knows those mean words aren't really directed at her -- they come from a deeper dissatisfaction with life or something. They still hurt though.

I'm traveling
Walking on paper thin ice
Ice that is melting
And yet still I think I'm breaking it

Again, the thin ice is his mood. The ice is melting though, and she can't do anything about it.  Yet still she blames herself for it breaking

I'm perfection
Don't I do everything right?
Where is my reward?
You should know how to love me by now

Finally, she's just frustrated, because she IS doing everything right, and it's totally NOT her fault for how he's so often in a bad mood.

I'm frustrated
Lost, wanting validation
Or some sympathy
But still looking in the wrong places

She's frustrated, doesn't know what to do, and wants to feel justified in her frustration but she's still looking for validation in the guy.

I'm remembering
I'm still learning to love too
And it's not my fault
Love is not bought, but can it be taught?

Then she starts to realize that his short personality and temper are not her fault. That he simply still learning how to love her in the ways she needs. That she can't buy his love by loving him, but can it be taught?

I'm listening
And I think I understand
It's not about me
All the times I hurt made you regret

Finally she starts to see that all his dissatisfaction and everything isn't about her.  He does love her, and he regrets any and every time he made her feel un-loved.  He's struggling with life though.

I'm progressing
I can tell you love me still
So let the ice break
It's cold anyway, and you're freezing

That's a big step forward for her, and in the end she realizes that she can best love him by saying bring it on to everything that's making him un-happy and working with him as he overcomes it.  He's not happy -- he's freezing -- so rather than blaming herself, making him feel guilty, or whatever, she should encourage him to get all of that stuff out. To share it, to be mad about it, whatever it takes, so they can move forward.



Inspiration
Most of the inspiration for this came from couples I've observed. Especially people blaming themself for every negative thing their partner says.  Making themselves responsible for things they're not, and all the while finding their complete validation in what their partner says, making it doubly damaging.

It also came partly from something my wife and I were going through at the time.  I felt like I was trying pretty hard and doing pretty well at doing everything I possibly could "right" to make her happy and everything, and yet it felt like every little thing -- a computer acting up, our internet going out for 10 seconds, friends not meeting expectations, etc. would set her off and put her in a bad mood and make me terrified to be around her.

But what I came to realize was that this was that this was because I was looking at it all wrong.  She's not always like that, so something was causing it.  She felt bad about it and repeatedly apologized and tried to make it up to me, so it clearly wasn't ME causing it. (Though I'm sure my whipped dog attitude every time she got mad about something was the opposite of beneficial.)  So I realized that I needed to stop worrying about myself and moping that she wasn't being fair or whatever, and just love her, and if possible, dive into everything troubling her with her and work through it all together.  And while I still don't know everything affecting her moods during that time -- hormones, stress, anxiety, lack of self worth, lack of self discovery, and much more I'm sure -- it was a big step forward and we are currently happier together than we've ever been!

I think it's an ever present temptation and trap to try to be everything your partner needs, or to find everything you need in your partner.  Obviously I believe there are physical and emotional needs that are only meant to be met by a spouse, but there's a lot of other needs that are also meant to be met by God and through other friends and family.

Love and Humility

We've been talking about love and humility a lot at church lately.  In fact, listening to older sermons I'd say that's always a common theme at our church, and I feel rightly so.

It's interesting how closely related love and humility are.  Both are about putting others above ourselves.  And with both, the closer we think we are to truly loving or being truly humble, the further away from true love and humility we tend to be.  In general, whenever I'm thinking, "I'm doing a good job being loving!" what I'm thinking on a deeper level is "They sure do owe me for being such a great guy!", which is completely self-centered and pretty much the polar opposite of love. In the same way, the more humble we think we are the more prideful we are of our imagined humility.

But really, both of those are just human nature, aren't they?  How can we as humans truly love without receiving it in return?  We get tired and just worn out trying, don't we? How can we love with a love that is limitless and not at all based on rather we're receiving love or rather the person we love deserves any of it?  And how can we be truly humble when all our efforts at humility lead us to comparing it to the people around us, and consequently becoming prideful?

The only answer for those questions is that we can not. We can not show love without receiving it, and we cannot be humble when we compare ourselves to the people around us.

I believe the ONLY solution is for us to draw from the only infinite source of love, and compare ourselves to the only ultimate example of humility.  Because when we fill our love tank from God, and fulfill our need for love in HIS infinite, pure love, we can then start to love others even when they hurt us and don't love us in return. We can finally stop focusing on what we think they should be doing and focus on just loving them. And we see in God's love how to love, and what it really means to be humble. And we can get past how good of a job we think we're doing and realize the truth of Matthew 20:16, "So the last will be first, and the first will be last."


In other news, I am participating in the St. Jude Memphis Marathon Weekend to support the kids of St. Jude Children's Research Hospital! As a St. Jude Hero, I have committed to raise $1000 for the kids of St. Jude. I feel that this is a very noble cause, and would like to ask you personally to help me support St. Jude by donating today at http://fundraising.stjude.org/site/TR/Heroes/Heroes?px=2006882&pg=personal&fr_id=3631.

Your donation helps by ensuring that no family ever has the burden of having to pay St. Jude for anything. It also ensures that St. Jude is able to continue changing the way the world treats childhood cancer and other deadly diseases through its research.

A Short Rant on Politics

The people we elect are supposed to be the people we choose to represent US. If you honestly feel that Obama or Romney represents what you want for this country and future generations, then that is another discussion. But if you are voting for who you feel is the lesser of two evils, then I would beg you to re-consider. The problem with repeatedly voting for "the lesser of two evils" is that you always end up with evil winning. It also perpetuates the cycle of having two people pre-chosen for us to "choose" between, and elections in general being nothing but a big charade. Our choices are /not/ going to get better if we keep doing this. So I would beg you to study and vote for someone who does represent what you want for this country and future generations, even if they don't stand a chance of winning. Because at least that way you won't be voting for evil.

Also, just to clarify, I use "evil" here not in reference to Obama or Romney as people. As people they are certainly no more evil than I myself am. I use it because "the lesser of two evils" is common language when talking about elections. My problems with Obama and Romney have nothing to do with rather I like them or not. I imagine both of them would be quite fine people to be around. So when talking about them, I'm never attacking them personally, I'm attacking what they represent -- a set of policies and ideals that I strongly disagree with.

Thin Ice

I'm tiptoeing
Trying not to make a sound
It might be too loud
Or maybe you want me to talk now?

I'm terified
Even though you won't hurt me
But your words might sting
Even though they are not meant for me

I'm traveling
Walking on paper thin ice
Ice that is melting
And yet still I think I'm breaking it

I'm perfection
Don't I do everything right?
Where is my reward?
You should know how to love me by now

I'm frustrated
Lost, wanting validation
Or some sympathy
But still looking in the wrong places

I'm remembering
I'm still learning to love too
And it's not my fault
Love is not bought, but can it be taught?

I'm listening
And I think I understand
It's not about me
All the times I hurt made you regret

I'm progressing
I can tell you love me still
So let the ice break
It's cold anyway, and you're freezing




This is my attempt at a poem.  My wife really likes poetry, and writing. So I'm trying to encourage her to write more, and one way is to try myself.  I'm sure I'll post some sappy ones I've written/will write some day, but this one is an idea I've had for a while now and I wanted to give it a shot.  It does have a specific meaning, but I never know if it's better to give my meaning, or let people create their own meanings.

So, I'm curious -- what did you get from this?  :)

Also, I'll try to post a news update sometime soonish.  My wife and I have been married over a year now and I absolutely love it!

Honeymoon

So, I wrote all of this a long time ago and was supposed to post it but didn't quite finish it until now.  There's so much that could be added, but I wanted to go ahead and get this posted.


Our honeymoon was incredibly awesome, wonderful, amazing, and every other strong positive adjective. We really didn't have much money to spend, but thanks to generous friends and family, we had a honeymoon that was just incredible.

Our first night was spent at this cabin, courtesy of Hearthside Cabin Rentals.  Me and my brother do website and software work for them, as well as keep their computers and everything running in their office, and they were generous and let us stay in one of the cabins they own paying nothing but the cleaning fee.

View from our cabin

The following day we drove all the way down to Orlando Florida where Chase's parents had used their RCI points to book us 6 nights at the Hilton Grand Vacations Club on International Drive.  The drive was beautiful and a lot of fun!

It was by far the nicest place I've ever stayed in my life, and at least to me was absolutely THE perfect place for our honeymoon.  The suites were extremely nice, with a full kitchen, living room, bathroom, bedroom, and even our own private screened-in balcony/porch.  The resort was built around a small lake with a one-mile walking trail all the way around it and a bridge across the middle.  It had two large swimming pools, several hot tubs, ping-pong, basketball, and, our favorite -- a game/arcade room.  We played pool, air hockey, checkers, chess, and all of the arcade games they had there just about every day of our honeymoon I think.  I taught Chase to play chess, and we even played it on a HUGE chess board by the pool where the hollow plastic pawns were over a foot tall.

We got a 5 day park-to-park pass for Universal Sudios and Island of Adventure.  We were just going to get 1 day and maybe try to go to Disneyland or somewhere else also, but the attractions guy at the resort offered us a special deal on the package we got and I'm glad we did because that way we didn't feel like we needed to cram everything into one day.  Instead we got to stay as long as we felt like staying and then come back the next day or whatever we felt like doing.  I'd never been to any amusement parks besides Dollywood, so Universal Orlando was absolutely amazing for me!  I couldn't stop smiling from the minute we parked.  Just walking towards it from parking made my heart beat with excitement every time.  It's like walking towards a whole other world full of incredible contraptions and fun things to do!  I absolutely LOVED it!  I was like a kid, totally fascinated and delighted to take it all in, but without any parents having to try and keep track of me and everything I wanted to look at, climb on, ride, eat and take pictures of.  Overall, I think this other-world magical feel of the entire place was perhaps the best thing of all.

I can't really even say what my favorite ride was.  I loved the technology in "Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey" and "The Amazing Adventures of Spider-Man" rides.  They combined a moving roller-coaster and projection screens (3D for the Spiderman ride) to make an incredible experience. I think I perhaps loved the thrill of the Dragon Challenge the most -- two roller coasters zooming through and around each other creating an exceptionally exciting ride.

While at Universal Orlando one day, we stopped at Hard Rock cafe and ate this incredibly delicious "Local Legendary" burger.

We shared it and it was more than enough.  It was really good too!  Will definitely have to get it again if/when we're in Orlando again.

We also go to go to a Pirates dinner show, which was a lot of fun.  I'd never been to a dinner show except for a LONG time ago at Dixie Stampede, which I remember as being one of the coolest things in my life. Unfortunately, due to the lighting and stuff in there, none of the pictures came out very well, but here's one.

We really should have taken a LOT more photos, but it's hard to remember to.  Anyway,  here are some more random pictures with captions.

One of our stops along the way

Cool clouds with a strange rainbow cloud which I've never seen anything like before

Central courtyard type area outside our room

One of the swimming pools at the resort

One of the lounge areas. We thought the table/seats were really cool.

Me outside the pirate dinner place

Spiderman!!

Our Gryffindor shirts

Chase with our pets Verde and Jack-Jack

I couldn't get any good pictures, but there was an awesome laser & fireworks show at Universal Studios at the end of the day.

Our Wedding

Well, I was going to wait for pictures of the wedding before posting again, but since it's been over a month now and I still don't have them, I figured I should just go ahead and post anyway.

I very generous friend took our wedding pictures for free but has been so busy since the wedding he hasn't had time to finish putting them together and editing them for us.

I'm going to try to use this blog as a way of keeping my dear family and friends and anyone who is interested updated on what's going on in my life, so I'll start by telling about the wedding.

The wedding was on Saturday, July 30th.  Two days before the wedding, on Thursday, we borrowed a pickup truck from someone at my church and, after getting off work for the day, my brothers and I moved all the big furniture and stuff to my brother's house, our new apartment, the office, or wherever it could go.  We stayed up quite late moving stuff and were completely exhausted (I had a desk up there that weighed approximately 13 thousand pounds.)  I was pretty restless, so stayed up later after my brothers went to bed packing everything I could.  Friday morning, early, I left to run a bunch of errands.  While I was gone, Brian and Daryl moved the rest of the stuff out of my apartment up to Chase's apartment (now our home). There's no way I could have done it without them -- they were SO much help.  I don't even remember what all I was doing.  Getting my address changed, paying bills, cleaning my car, bringing a load of stuff to the office, buying some things, switching off internet and stuff at my old apartment, paying rent and letting them know when I was completely moved out of the old place, etc.  Finally all was done and Chase and I, Chase's parents, and the whole bridal party drove down to Athens where we met Neema and JC and had our rehearsal.

For anyone having a wedding, definitely do your utmost to have everyone at the rehearsal and iron out how everything's going to go.  We did, and it made everything so much smoother.  It brought up questions about things we hadn't thought how we were going to do and made everyone a lot more comfortable about what we were doing the next day, even though everything didn't work out quite as planned.

Then Chase's parents took us all out to eat for our rehearsal dinner, and we all went back to a hotel they'd gotten for us.  It was great seeing Neema and JC again and spending time with JC. As soon as we got back from the dinner though, Chase and I were banned from seeing each other any more until the wedding, and, after a few texts, we were banned from communicating with each other in any way until the wedding.  I understand the tradition and all.  I just wanted some time to talk with her though because she'd been stressed and having a hard time with all kinds of different things all day.  It was pretty late though, and I was exhausted still from all the moving and everything, so after talking with my brothers and JC for a while, I went to sleep and slept just fine actually, though I woke up pretty early the next morning.

I went down and ate breakfast with Mamaw (Chase's mom's mom), Chase's aunt, and one of the bridesmaids.  Then got a bit more ready, had a great talk with Neema (who is like my sister) and finally we went to the wedding site -- a beautiful outdoor garden with flowers everywhere and a lake behind where we were supposed to get married.  Unfortunately, it started raining and drizzling.  We waited quite a while hoping it would stop, but finally decided to have it in the covered area where we were having the reception, which turned out great, even if the pictures don't turn out as pretty as they would have outdoors.

I did what I could to help, helping set up center pieces, and trying to welcome everyone as they came.  And answered the question, "Are you nervous?" what seemed like hundreds of times, though we only had around 75 people or so there.  Every time I answered what I felt, "Not really.  More excited."  Then I'd notice my hands kinda shaking and admit, "Maybe a little nervous. But mostly excited."  Finally, I was told to go into the shop they had there so I wouldn't see Chase coming, and was in there for what seemed like a long time.  Dad came back and prayed with me and encouraged me and said he was proud to be gaining me as a son-in-law, which was really special.  I hear he went and prayed with Chase as well.

Then I was called out and went and stood up with the pastor and we got started.  My groomsmen (my brothers, Brian, Daryl, and Emmett, and my now-brother-in-law Nathan) seated all the close relatives, then came and stood by me.  Then the bridesmaids came down the isle while two friends played the violin.  And then, the moment I'd been waiting for.  My soon-to-be father-in-law walking down the isle towards me with the most beautiful of all of God's creations.

Chasity is more beautiful than anything else in the world, and I'd known this, but there at the wedding, to say she was more gorgeous than all the mountains, streams, flowers, stars and galaxies in the universe combined would be a big understatement.  She wore the most beautiful dress ever made, had flowers in her gorgeous long hair, and was smiling at me with eyes so perfect and full of love that I wouldn't have been able to look away from them if the brightness of the sun itself was behind her blinding me.  I'd never been more happy, more proud, or felt more perfect in all my life as I did then giving myself to her, promising to love her with everything I've got for the rest of my life, and have her doing the same. It was and is more special than I know how to describe.

I actually don't remember the service real well.  Our pastor prayed and talked about marriage.  We washed each other's feet. We made our vows to each other, exchanged rings, and were pronounced man and wife and kissed!

Three things stand out to me most.  One, how incredibly beautiful my bride was.  Two, how perfectly happy I felt and just how... perfect I felt. Like, when something feels so right your whole life feels perfect. Making our vows, pronouncing our love for one another, demonstrating it through Christ's example of washing each other's feet, and being pronounced man and wife, one flesh, before God and man -- that was so incredibly wonderful and amazing.  And the third thing I remember very clearly is how completely and utterly thankful I was to God for all of it.

I say all of that in past tense, but only for the purpose of telling about the wedding itself.  Chasity is still the most gorgeous of all of God's creations and I am still so incredibly happy and thankful about our marriage.  I'm full of happiness.

After the service, everyone gave us hugs and congratulations and we got some pictures taken.  The rain had stopped by now, so we were able to take them outside.  Then we ate our food. Chase and I danced to Steven Curtis Chapman's "I Will Be Here", and I sang it to her while the song played.  She danced with her Dad and then I had a dance with her mom and got permission to call her Mom.

Plenty of other stuff happened, but I'm out of time for now.  I'll try to post again soon.

Married!

I'm now married!!

I fully intend to write about the wedding with some pictures once I get the pictures. But that might be a little while still.

I wanted to write a brief update though.

It's funny.  Because it almost doesn't seem real.  It's like a big birthday -- you have this image of someone who's 16, 21, 40, 80, or whatever, but when those birthdays actually come (though I've only experienced though 21) you're still just the same person as the day before.  You don't suddenly transform into that image you had of what it would be like or the image you put on people who are various ages when you were younger.  It's kinda the same after the wedding.  There's certainly huge life changes.  I now live with the girl I love, sharing our home and everything we have with each other.  I'm irreversibly committed to love her forever.  But we're still just the same people as we were two weeks ago.  We still enjoy teasing each other, playing cards while watching a TV series on Netflix, cuddling and watching a movie, going swimming, cooking together, and much more -- the same things we did before.  We're still the same people. But now that dear girl is my wife, and I'm her husband.

I absolutely love it though!  One thing that I've already enjoyed is that everyone has been so much more positive.  I've received quite a bit of good, positive, beneficial advice and encouragement.  As opposed to when we were dating when it seemed like lots of people's immediate response was skepticism. We're young. We've only known each other 2 years. We're different.  We have no idea what we're getting ourselves into. etc.  All of which is true, I suppose.  But now, regardless of any of those things and anything else, there's one clear direction to move -- forward.  No turning back.  And that's very nice.

I need to go now, but will try to write more soon.

Engagement

At the beginning of 2010, I let Chase know that one of my New Years resolutions was to ask her to marry me.  Beyond that, however, I wouldn't give her any hints at all about when to expect it, though she tried her hardest to get any clues out of me.  We spent pretty much all of our free time together that summer when she was out of school, and she really really really hoped I'd propose before she went back to school. But, the time came and I went with her back to Memphis to help her settle for her last year of college and she gave up hope of being engaged before school started back.  But I had different plans for that weekend.

I talked with her Dad on Thursday, I think, and asked his permission to ask Chasity to marry me.  He's quite a bit taller than me and was in the process of cutting up big pieces of meat when I asked him, and when I did ask him, he accidentally cut himself.  :-o

It was great though.  He gave me some great advice and talked some about the importance of recognizing and treating marriage as the major, life-long commitment that it is.  And then he said that he would be honored to have me as a son-in-law.  And said that while he can't/won't be able to tell me what to do, he will always be there to help with what he can, as will his sons.  So it was really nice.  In the end he asked me when I was planning on asking her, and I said that weekend. I think he was kinda surprised, but said that was up to me.

Earlier in the week, I'd suggested to Chase that we go to the park on Friday.  She didn't really want to fit it in with other stuff on Friday though, so said Saturday.  I SO didn't want to wait all through Friday being SO excited and kinda restless and knowing she would be just as impatient as I was if she knew, but I couldn't give away that it was a big deal, so said Saturday sounded good.  So, Saturday morning we got ready to go to the park.  Chase didn't even know that I'd bought the ring (or what ring I'd chosen), and as far as she knew, I hadn't had any chance to do so.

When we were just about to head out the door, I "remembered my camera" and went upstairs to get it.  The boxes that they give you the rings in are too big to hide easily!  And Chase was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs.  So, I put the box in my camera case and carried it and my camera down and took a picture of us.

She was thirsty so we stopped at a gas station to get a drink and while she was inside I put my camera in its case and left the ring in its box in my pocket.  When we got to the park, we started walking along by the lake, and I was telling her how she is like a treasure chest. How the deeper I dig -- the more I get to know her -- the more beautiful treasures I uncover and the more I realize just how infinitely valuable and precious she is.  Then started talking about how I don't know what the future will bring. Where God will lead me -- rather back to Zambia, to some other country, somewhere different here in the US, or just here. How I don't know what all of His plans for me are.  And then I told her that I do know one thing for sure though, and that is that I want to spend all of the rest of my life, wherever it may be, doing whatever I may do, with her.  And by this time we were standing in a gazebo by the lake, and I got down on my knees, brought out the ring, and proposed, "Chasity Duncanson, I promise to love you every moment, forever.  Will you marry me?"

And she said "Yes!"  (After what seemed like quite a long delay where she was just holding out her hand, waiting for me to put the ring on already and not realizing I was waiting for an answer!)

Chase and me, right after we got engaged

How We Met and How We Got Here

I will have known Chasity for 2 years by the time we're on our honeymoon, and as of last Sunday we have officially been together for 1 3/4 years.

I met her when she was visiting my now sister-in-law just before my sister-in-law and brother got married.  Chase was the maid of honor at their wedding, and we immediately shared a mutual attraction.  After only getting to spend a very limited amount of time together for a few days, Chase had to travel back to Memphis.  I really don't even know all of why it got to me so much, but I cried when she left.  It felt like, "Here I just met an incredibly awesome person that I really want to get to know better, and now she's going 6 hours away and I'll probably never really get to know her."  But thankfully God had other plans and that's not what happened. Instead, we started texting each other, then chatting online a ridiculous amount, and before long talking on the phone a ridiculous amount every single day.  I'm on my computer most of the time with work and everything, and she stayed online on the phone, so I'd chat with her off and on while I was working and she was doing school, then every night we'd talk on the phone about just about everything imaginable.

And that brings me to one of the things I love most about Chase and our relationship -- our communication.  From the very beginning, we've talked with each other and shared with each other about topics ranging all over the place.  We remain in near constant communication and stay very updated on each others thoughts and feelings about things.  We're free to express our thoughts, feelings, and preferences about just about everything, including things we disagree on.  (Sometime I'll post about the topic of talking about things we disagree on, because lots can be said about it and I'm still learning lots about it.)

Going back to the story of us getting to know each other.  At one point, she came back to East Tennessee for the weekend, but that same weekend I was going up to Chicago with a friend. So I only got to see her about 15 minutes between the time she got here and I had to leave.  And in those 15 minutes I guess you could say I fell head over heels in love with her.  We didn't really even do anything. She just came, we saw some animal in the yard and went over closer to try and see what it was and it ran away. Then we went inside and I had to pack my things to leave.  She stayed in my apartment while gone though since it's very near where my sister-in-law lived who she was visiting.  While there, she cleaned out all my cabinets and cleaned everything and left me a note with her perfume on it thanking me for letting her stay there.

Then it was back to chatting and talking on the phone, but with a new realization on my part that I wanted to be more than "just" friends with this girl.

Finally, the band Casting Crowns was going to play somewhere in Memphis and she bought us tickets for the show on October 15th, 2009.  Every time we talked for weeks (months? I don't remember. It seemed like ages.) we were longing for October 15th when we'd get to meet each other and for the first time spend a decent amount of time together.

At last the date came and I went and stayed with my grandparents in West Tennessee then went to see her.  We ate out with her mom and then she showed me around her campus and we hung out with her roommate, then went to the concert.  The concert was awesome and I told her for the first time that I love her.  I'd been dying to say it for a long time, but wanted it to be in person.  The next day, we traveled back to East Tennessee together.  The long drive was great, and I think we held hands pretty much the entire way.

Chase and I at the Casting Crowns Conert

After that began a long period of time where we'd take turns her coming here and me going there every other weekend or so.  And that's what we did until last month when we got her a 2 bedroom apartment where she is now living and where I'll be moving into as soon as we're married.

There's SO much more I could say about all of that and things to tell about.  Like her going to France for her spring break and the hard time we had after that.  Or when I went to Zambia for 3 weeks and she totally redecorated, refurnished, and reorganized my apartment and made it a real home instead of a bachelor pad while I was away.  But to tell about everything would take me weeks, and this post would be way too long. So in order to post more often and hopefully keep things interesting, I'll end here and tell about more in future posts.  Like our engagement.

Excitement

Life has been pretty crazy lately in many ways.  At the same time though, it seems unrealistically calm.

The biggest news is that I am getting married to the most amazing, most beautiful girl in the world in just 12 days!  At 3pm next Saturday, I will be marrying Chasity Duncanson.  In many ways, that makes life feel "crazy".  I mean, I'm getting married! Committing the rest of my life to loving Chase with everything I've got. No turning back, looking back, second guessing, or anything.  It's a decision that will literally affect every area of my life in a dramatic way -- I'm sure even more than I realize right now.

But at the same time, I am calm because there is nothing else I want to do more.  I am so happy to be getting married and excited to start living the rest of my life with Chase.

I hope to start posting on here more often and sharing about things I'm learning and have learned.  (How many times have I said that now?) Maybe even asking questions from my readers (if they exist) about struggles I have or things I'd like input on.  Maybe my next post can include a brief story of how Chase and I met and everything.

Lecrae Rebel-Beautiful Feet lyrics

God's Chisel - The Skit Guys

This is really good!

Facebook Scams

I'd just like everyone to know:

If a Facebook page has 3 steps or whatever for you to see some video or read something or see some pictures or anything, with steps like "Like this.", "Post/Share this", it is a scam.  I see lots of people doing these, and they simply don't work.  If you're really so curious what's behind it, ask the person you saw post it, and almost for sure, they'll tell you they never got to see the content they wanted to see. Usually, the first two steps are to spread the scam (like and share) and the final step is filling out some survey thing for advertisers.  They don't work though, and the creators get money from it. So -- don't even try!  Rather it's "13 Worst Marriage Proposal Fails Ever Recorded on Video!", "SHOCKING: RUDE HIDDEN MESSAGE in Toy Story 3!", ""I am shocked!!! I’m NEVER texting AGAIN since I found this out.", or "OMG!! McDonalds might soon shut down because of this, you have to see this."...

There are lots of them.  Basically, if there are steps to take to see the content, then the content most likely doesn't even exist and it's just a scam. So, don't waste your time, and don't spread the scams.

Quote

What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.
The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.
When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that my dear friend, is the beginning of the end of any nation.
You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.

- Adrian Rogers, 1931

Children / Life

One of my girlfriend's friend's status messages on Facebook today was "child injuries- fall/get hurt, lay/sit there for a second, maybe yell out a little, get up, assess the damage, resume playing. :)"

That made me start thinking of the similarities of a child getting hurt and an adult making a mistake.

A child gets hurt.  What kind of child he/she is determines how they respond.  Sometimes it may not really even hurt, but perhaps the child knows they can get extra attention by using the fall or whatever happened, so they will cry and cry about it to get attention.

Some adults use their mistakes this way too.  "My life is ruined! I'm helpless! Nobody else has it this hard!"  Now, that sounds harsh, perhaps, but just as I pity the child even if they weren't hurt that bad, so I pity the adult who made the mistake, and my concern would be with helping them. Not rather or not they're over reacting.

Or, the child may just get up and resume playing since they're not really hurt.  Often this is what we need to do when we make mistakes.  Just get up and try to move on without making the same mistake again.

Or, sometimes the child really is hurt badly, and they will cry and seek shelter and comfort in the arms of their mother or whoever constantly loves and takes care of them.  Finally, being comforted and feeling better, they will go back to playing, or perhaps just stay there and sleep/rest in their safe haven.

Sometimes we really do mess up bad.  But always when we do, we can find shelter and comfort in the One Who always loves us and takes care of us.

So, when we make a mistake and we fall or get hurt, we may lie there a while.  We may even need to cry out for help.  But it's important that we always "get up [move on], assess the damage [figure out what we did wrong and how to set it right and/or deal with the consequences], and resume playing [get back into doing whatever we're supposed to be doing]."


Perhaps kindof a lame post, but the short form would be just me seeing that status and thinking basically that last paragraph -- that we should handle a lot of things we face as adults a lot more like a child handles getting hurt.

New Beginnings

So, I'm thinking of starting up a blog again. But I'm not really sure if I will or not. I hope that I will, and that it will inspire people. That it will improve my abilities to communicate. That it will give people insight into who I am, and also who they are. But along with all of that, I also hope that it will not use too much of my time. And I'm not sure that I can really do all of the first things I mentioned and that last part. But anyway. Yay new beginnings!

Update / Relationships 2

Well, I've had almost no time for reading, and when I have read a bit, I've started reading Captivating by John Eldredge. I've only read the first 1 1/2 chapters so far, but can already recommend it. (For one thing, Ma said it was good.)

So, I just decided to post this small excerpt from my brother Brian's email. He was talking a bit about girls, and how he hasn't found anyone yet, and then he said this:

The greatness of the matter though, is that I don't have to worry
about it. I am just discussing this because it hit me hard, and
fascinated me so much, that I couldn't help but write about it to you.
God will bring a girl to me. And she will be the perfect girl for me.
I don't have to look, because God isn't looking. God already knows
who she is, and where she is. But before He will bring us together,
He must first make us into who we each should be. I learned that way
of thinking from Ma just this morning, BTW. She said "God is not so
interested in helping us /find/ the right person as He is in /making/
us the right person." Or I also thought of it this way, if I am
ever feeling lonely and want God to hurry up, I should turn to Him
more, knowing that I must not be good enough yet for the person He has
prepared for me, or He would have brought us together.

Anyway, I just thought that was well said, and kindof went along with what I said last time about trusting God's timing, and not worrying about it.

Me and Brian are extremely close, and think very much alike. Note that by saying, "God will bring a girl to me." he is not AT ALL advocating being a passive bum and waiting for things to magically happen, but rather that our concern is not finding a partner, but becoming the partner God wants us to be one day.

Feel free to share any thoughts, concerns, questions, and criticisms. I like all four.

Relationships?

"Every relationship for a Christian is an opportunity to love another person like God has loved us. To lay down our desires and do what's in his or her best interest. To care for him or her even when there's nothing in it for us. To want that person's purity and holiness because it pleases God and protects him or her." - Joshua Harris.

I just started reading I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris. So far, it's all stuff that I was taught by my parents growing up and things that I have already been convicted of. I wanted to read it though, because I might want to recommend it to some people, and I don't like recommending books I haven't read. (Though, I would recommend books from certain authors such as Randy Alcorn and John Eldredge, even if I haven't read all of their books.)

To all of my dear readers, don't worry if you're not currently in any relationship.
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding." -Proverbs 3:5
I know that for at least one of you, by your own understanding/knowledge, you may feel like time is running out and that if you don't find someone soon, you never will. But don't be concerned about that. God does have it all planned out for you, and His way is best. He is the creator and owner of time. Try to focus on drawing closer to Him. And don't worry about guys. Let Him be the one to find one for you. Remember. "A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek Him in order to find her." Trust God my dear friend. If it seems like no man is seeking God enough to find you, then still, do not worry. It is in God's hands, and be thankful for His protection from those who might not draw you closer to Him.

Trust in the LORD and do good;
  Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the LORD;
  And He will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD,
  Trust also in Him, and He will do it.
He will bring forth your righteousness as the light
  And your judgment as the noonday.
Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him;
  Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,
Because of the man who carries out wicked schemes.
  Cease from anger and forsake wrath;
Do not fret; it leads only to evildoing.
  For evildoers will be cut off,
But those who wait for the LORD, they will inherit the land.
(Psalm 37:3-8)

To those of you who are in relationships, I would give similar advice -- Put God above the relationship, and put LOVE above emotions and feelings.

And what do I mean by that? I mean that you should be more concerned about honoring and pleasing God than about keeping the relationship. If you know the relationship is not honoring and pleasing to God, then end it, or if possible, just end the part that is not pleasing to God.

And what do I mean by putting Love above emotions and feelings? I mean that Love IS NOT an emotion or feeling. I would contend that you can love someone even while your emotions and feelings may be telling you to punch them in the face. Love is about wanting the very best for the other person, and living for their good. And that includes, as Joshua Harris said very well in the beginning quote, "[wanting] that person's purity and holiness because it pleases God and protects him or her."

I intend to post more on this topic in the near future -- perhaps a section aimed at guys, and one aimed at girls. And please, feel free to comment with corrections, criticisms, questions, or whatever.

May God be glorified.

Mr Ngambi

Speaking yesterday of being blessed with a job, I am reminded of Mr. Ngambi in Zambia. We hired him to help take care of our garden and yard as a way to help him out. Never have I seen a better employee. He was on time or else early EVERY day. He never left early, but instead, often left late. His goal was not to make money, but to be the very best groundskeeper he could be — and he was. And mind you, it's not that he didn't need the money! He lives in a crouded compound in a very small house. I'm actually not even sure how many children he had, but at least 3. I'm thinking 6, but I need to confirm that with my brother.

I'll never forget one day when he was late. He got there slightly later than his usual (don't remember how late, but it wasn't much), and was so apologetic. Turns out he was in incredible pain with a toothache, and was late because he had been to the dentist. Even with the toothache, he intended to work, but we gave him some pain killer and let him go home. And you know, for something as little as that — some painkiller and a day off, he was forever grateful to us and thankful to God for a 'good employer'.

He is an elder in one of the churches in Kafue, and on some day of the week he had to be at a meeting there. It was totally fine with us for him to take off for that, but rather than just taking the time off, he insisted on working during lunch break on those days to make up for the hour or two that he was in the meeting.

Anyway, I wrote all that mostly just to say, he was a VERY good employee and is a very hard worker. We moved far away though, and could not continue hiring him. Well, some months ago, my family got to visit him and his family, and found that he is was security guard for a teacher training college. That's a low paying, quite demanding job in Zambia. I don't know about him, but many of them work 12 hour shifts. Well, when they visited him, he had been working for the teacher training college for 6 months. They paid him the first month, but for the past 5 months he hadn't been paid! Can you imagine? Working at your only job for 5 months without getting paid! Now, here, that would be foolish. If someone doesn't pay you, you quit the job. Otherwise it just encourages them to take advantage of you. That may be the case in Zambia also, but what else can he do? There are no other jobs available for him, so to leave would just be to leave his hope for them to eventually pay him.

But was he depressed by that? No. Instead, he was thankful to God for getting to see us. He was praising God aloud to hear that one of our students was accepted into Liberty University. He was thankful to Pa for being a faithful employee back when he was working for us.

How was he even surviving? I don't know. But what he knows is that GOD is the one who provides for us, and that all that is required of us is "to act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with [our] God." (Micah 6:8). God takes care of the rest.

So, I'm very blessed to have my current job.