Engagement

At the beginning of 2010, I let Chase know that one of my New Years resolutions was to ask her to marry me.  Beyond that, however, I wouldn't give her any hints at all about when to expect it, though she tried her hardest to get any clues out of me.  We spent pretty much all of our free time together that summer when she was out of school, and she really really really hoped I'd propose before she went back to school. But, the time came and I went with her back to Memphis to help her settle for her last year of college and she gave up hope of being engaged before school started back.  But I had different plans for that weekend.

I talked with her Dad on Thursday, I think, and asked his permission to ask Chasity to marry me.  He's quite a bit taller than me and was in the process of cutting up big pieces of meat when I asked him, and when I did ask him, he accidentally cut himself.  :-o

It was great though.  He gave me some great advice and talked some about the importance of recognizing and treating marriage as the major, life-long commitment that it is.  And then he said that he would be honored to have me as a son-in-law.  And said that while he can't/won't be able to tell me what to do, he will always be there to help with what he can, as will his sons.  So it was really nice.  In the end he asked me when I was planning on asking her, and I said that weekend. I think he was kinda surprised, but said that was up to me.

Earlier in the week, I'd suggested to Chase that we go to the park on Friday.  She didn't really want to fit it in with other stuff on Friday though, so said Saturday.  I SO didn't want to wait all through Friday being SO excited and kinda restless and knowing she would be just as impatient as I was if she knew, but I couldn't give away that it was a big deal, so said Saturday sounded good.  So, Saturday morning we got ready to go to the park.  Chase didn't even know that I'd bought the ring (or what ring I'd chosen), and as far as she knew, I hadn't had any chance to do so.

When we were just about to head out the door, I "remembered my camera" and went upstairs to get it.  The boxes that they give you the rings in are too big to hide easily!  And Chase was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs.  So, I put the box in my camera case and carried it and my camera down and took a picture of us.

She was thirsty so we stopped at a gas station to get a drink and while she was inside I put my camera in its case and left the ring in its box in my pocket.  When we got to the park, we started walking along by the lake, and I was telling her how she is like a treasure chest. How the deeper I dig -- the more I get to know her -- the more beautiful treasures I uncover and the more I realize just how infinitely valuable and precious she is.  Then started talking about how I don't know what the future will bring. Where God will lead me -- rather back to Zambia, to some other country, somewhere different here in the US, or just here. How I don't know what all of His plans for me are.  And then I told her that I do know one thing for sure though, and that is that I want to spend all of the rest of my life, wherever it may be, doing whatever I may do, with her.  And by this time we were standing in a gazebo by the lake, and I got down on my knees, brought out the ring, and proposed, "Chasity Duncanson, I promise to love you every moment, forever.  Will you marry me?"

And she said "Yes!"  (After what seemed like quite a long delay where she was just holding out her hand, waiting for me to put the ring on already and not realizing I was waiting for an answer!)

Chase and me, right after we got engaged

How We Met and How We Got Here

I will have known Chasity for 2 years by the time we're on our honeymoon, and as of last Sunday we have officially been together for 1 3/4 years.

I met her when she was visiting my now sister-in-law just before my sister-in-law and brother got married.  Chase was the maid of honor at their wedding, and we immediately shared a mutual attraction.  After only getting to spend a very limited amount of time together for a few days, Chase had to travel back to Memphis.  I really don't even know all of why it got to me so much, but I cried when she left.  It felt like, "Here I just met an incredibly awesome person that I really want to get to know better, and now she's going 6 hours away and I'll probably never really get to know her."  But thankfully God had other plans and that's not what happened. Instead, we started texting each other, then chatting online a ridiculous amount, and before long talking on the phone a ridiculous amount every single day.  I'm on my computer most of the time with work and everything, and she stayed online on the phone, so I'd chat with her off and on while I was working and she was doing school, then every night we'd talk on the phone about just about everything imaginable.

And that brings me to one of the things I love most about Chase and our relationship -- our communication.  From the very beginning, we've talked with each other and shared with each other about topics ranging all over the place.  We remain in near constant communication and stay very updated on each others thoughts and feelings about things.  We're free to express our thoughts, feelings, and preferences about just about everything, including things we disagree on.  (Sometime I'll post about the topic of talking about things we disagree on, because lots can be said about it and I'm still learning lots about it.)

Going back to the story of us getting to know each other.  At one point, she came back to East Tennessee for the weekend, but that same weekend I was going up to Chicago with a friend. So I only got to see her about 15 minutes between the time she got here and I had to leave.  And in those 15 minutes I guess you could say I fell head over heels in love with her.  We didn't really even do anything. She just came, we saw some animal in the yard and went over closer to try and see what it was and it ran away. Then we went inside and I had to pack my things to leave.  She stayed in my apartment while gone though since it's very near where my sister-in-law lived who she was visiting.  While there, she cleaned out all my cabinets and cleaned everything and left me a note with her perfume on it thanking me for letting her stay there.

Then it was back to chatting and talking on the phone, but with a new realization on my part that I wanted to be more than "just" friends with this girl.

Finally, the band Casting Crowns was going to play somewhere in Memphis and she bought us tickets for the show on October 15th, 2009.  Every time we talked for weeks (months? I don't remember. It seemed like ages.) we were longing for October 15th when we'd get to meet each other and for the first time spend a decent amount of time together.

At last the date came and I went and stayed with my grandparents in West Tennessee then went to see her.  We ate out with her mom and then she showed me around her campus and we hung out with her roommate, then went to the concert.  The concert was awesome and I told her for the first time that I love her.  I'd been dying to say it for a long time, but wanted it to be in person.  The next day, we traveled back to East Tennessee together.  The long drive was great, and I think we held hands pretty much the entire way.

Chase and I at the Casting Crowns Conert

After that began a long period of time where we'd take turns her coming here and me going there every other weekend or so.  And that's what we did until last month when we got her a 2 bedroom apartment where she is now living and where I'll be moving into as soon as we're married.

There's SO much more I could say about all of that and things to tell about.  Like her going to France for her spring break and the hard time we had after that.  Or when I went to Zambia for 3 weeks and she totally redecorated, refurnished, and reorganized my apartment and made it a real home instead of a bachelor pad while I was away.  But to tell about everything would take me weeks, and this post would be way too long. So in order to post more often and hopefully keep things interesting, I'll end here and tell about more in future posts.  Like our engagement.

Excitement

Life has been pretty crazy lately in many ways.  At the same time though, it seems unrealistically calm.

The biggest news is that I am getting married to the most amazing, most beautiful girl in the world in just 12 days!  At 3pm next Saturday, I will be marrying Chasity Duncanson.  In many ways, that makes life feel "crazy".  I mean, I'm getting married! Committing the rest of my life to loving Chase with everything I've got. No turning back, looking back, second guessing, or anything.  It's a decision that will literally affect every area of my life in a dramatic way -- I'm sure even more than I realize right now.

But at the same time, I am calm because there is nothing else I want to do more.  I am so happy to be getting married and excited to start living the rest of my life with Chase.

I hope to start posting on here more often and sharing about things I'm learning and have learned.  (How many times have I said that now?) Maybe even asking questions from my readers (if they exist) about struggles I have or things I'd like input on.  Maybe my next post can include a brief story of how Chase and I met and everything.