My order just came today! Three CDs. VNV Nation - Judgment, Assemblage 23 - Meta, and Skillet - Comatose! Yay!
Have been, and am, very busy, and will be going to a family reunion tomorrow. I think I'll be back Sunday evening, but I'm not really sure. Maybe Monday? I'll miss you guys!
2008-07-24
2008-07-21
Update
News: I now have a bike, and will probably ride it almost every day.
Other news: I'm doing fine. Strange thoughts coming to my mind every now and then, but it seems to have calmed down, and I'm simply fine - doing well. Dunno what else to write though. I'm not feeling extremely creative, and what creativity there is, I need to use for writing an email or writing emails.
Other news: I'm doing fine. Strange thoughts coming to my mind every now and then, but it seems to have calmed down, and I'm simply fine - doing well. Dunno what else to write though. I'm not feeling extremely creative, and what creativity there is, I need to use for writing an email or writing emails.
2008-07-16
Late night fun.
I don't know what this says about me, (feel free to comment) but I think it's absolutely hilarious! ...Brian, Daryl, and I did some really funny song Brian wrote in school one time for the end-of-term celebration. This reminds me of it. I guess that's just a part of who I am. --A part that likes very silly songs.
2008-07-15
News
...I had a kindof bad day. I didn't feel like I accomplished much at all in my 8 or 9 hours of work except in the first one or two hours, mainly because I was trying to do something in a terrible way, and wasn't quite understanding how the whole project was supposed to work in the end. Of course, that doesn't have to make a bad day at all, but sadly, I let it. Thankfully, now I've realized that, and my day is back to being a good day.
Not much news. Emmett and I started watching another anime series last night. The 4 episodes we watched were... interesting. Basically, someone was somehow living inside a MMORPG. Even he himself didn't know how that happened, but all the game admins and stuff were trying to figure out what was going on and why he wasn't logging out, ever. ...weird, but I'm curious how it will turn out. The show is ".hack//Sign"
Hmm. Thoughts? Strangely, I haven't been thinking a huge amount the past couple days. It feels like a big relief to have finally come to some conclusion about the thing I was thinking about last week.
So... since then, let's see. I've been thinking of Lauren, pondering about who she is, who she used to be, and wondering what happened inbetween. Thinking about Brian, and wanting to share stuff with him. Thinking about Hannah. And, just a bit, thinking about college - wondering if I'll ever go, if I should go, etc. I want to go, because I'm sure I'd enjoy it heaps; but does God want me to go? Because what I want to do is obey and please God. Just like when I came here, I wanted to stay in ZM, but I knew God wanted me to come here, so, ultimately, I wanted to come here.
Not much news. Emmett and I started watching another anime series last night. The 4 episodes we watched were... interesting. Basically, someone was somehow living inside a MMORPG. Even he himself didn't know how that happened, but all the game admins and stuff were trying to figure out what was going on and why he wasn't logging out, ever. ...weird, but I'm curious how it will turn out. The show is ".hack//Sign"
Hmm. Thoughts? Strangely, I haven't been thinking a huge amount the past couple days. It feels like a big relief to have finally come to some conclusion about the thing I was thinking about last week.
So... since then, let's see. I've been thinking of Lauren, pondering about who she is, who she used to be, and wondering what happened inbetween. Thinking about Brian, and wanting to share stuff with him. Thinking about Hannah. And, just a bit, thinking about college - wondering if I'll ever go, if I should go, etc. I want to go, because I'm sure I'd enjoy it heaps; but does God want me to go? Because what I want to do is obey and please God. Just like when I came here, I wanted to stay in ZM, but I knew God wanted me to come here, so, ultimately, I wanted to come here.
2008-07-14
Current Status
I'm doing very well. I had a great weekend, had a nice day of rest on Sunday, and an enjoyable day of work today. I'm quite happy, and am thinking much more clearly than I was last week. (At least I feel like I am.) Some descisions/answered prayers really helped that.
I'm not feeling at all creative however, and because of that, I can't think of anything interesting to write. I'm still here though, and am doing well.
I'm not feeling at all creative however, and because of that, I can't think of anything interesting to write. I'm still here though, and am doing well.
2008-07-11
Thank You
Thank you Hannah for your support and care.
Thank you for being someone I can share with.
Thank you for listening, and being someone to listen to — for talking and being someone to talk to.
Thank you for not making fun of my crazy thoughts on so many things, but instead listening to me, and sharing your honest opinion, rather than just claiming to agree with me or dismissing my crazy ideas entirely.
Thank you for your time and being a huge amount of help to me.
Thank you Emmett for your help with work.
Thank you for your honesty.
Thank you for caring about me and helping whenever you can.
Thank you for listening to me, and talking to me.
Thank you for being there, and being a great friend.
And most of all, Thank You God, for giving me these people!
Thank you for being someone I can share with.
Thank you for listening, and being someone to listen to — for talking and being someone to talk to.
Thank you for not making fun of my crazy thoughts on so many things, but instead listening to me, and sharing your honest opinion, rather than just claiming to agree with me or dismissing my crazy ideas entirely.
Thank you for your time and being a huge amount of help to me.
Thank you Emmett for your help with work.
Thank you for your honesty.
Thank you for caring about me and helping whenever you can.
Thank you for listening to me, and talking to me.
Thank you for being there, and being a great friend.
And most of all, Thank You God, for giving me these people!
2008-07-10
Thoughts and feelings 5 1/2 hours later
Well, after after writing that I took a nice nap, and here's a response or whatever to my previous post.
Basically, I just needed to remember all the things I kept in my mind to comfort me when leaving.
Emmett just got back from an apparently very long day, which helped me realize, I need to be here for him, rather than thinking so much of myself.
Basically, I just needed to remember all the things I kept in my mind to comfort me when leaving.
- God is in control, no matter what happens, and He does have the very best plan.
- I will see Brian and the others again. The separation really is just temporary, even if I don't see them before heaven.
- The important thing is doing God's will. The results are up to Him.
Emmett just got back from an apparently very long day, which helped me realize, I need to be here for him, rather than thinking so much of myself.
Current thoughts/feelings
I'm always happy, I'm always cheerful. I never get depressed, because if I even start to feel down, I just focus on all that God has blessed me with, and the beauty of His creation, and all that I don't understand about it just adds to it's beauty and magnificence.
All of that is true about me, right? So why am I having a hard time working, or doing anything seriously. Why do I just feel like crying, yet am still unable to? Will this pain of missing people go away eventually? I guess it will be like it was with Kasemuka. But she was gone before I could even get to know her. But my family?
Me and my brother Brian have always planned everything together. Our lives are (were?) tied together in all of our plans. But now? What happens to all our dreams? What happens to that priceless closeness? I don't want to think of this being apart as anything but temporary. But is it temporary? And if not, why? WHY!?
Dear, dear God. I know you know what you're doing. Please help me to trust you.
I will now retire to my bed for a while, as tears are finally coming freely.
All of that is true about me, right? So why am I having a hard time working, or doing anything seriously. Why do I just feel like crying, yet am still unable to? Will this pain of missing people go away eventually? I guess it will be like it was with Kasemuka. But she was gone before I could even get to know her. But my family?
Me and my brother Brian have always planned everything together. Our lives are (were?) tied together in all of our plans. But now? What happens to all our dreams? What happens to that priceless closeness? I don't want to think of this being apart as anything but temporary. But is it temporary? And if not, why? WHY!?
Dear, dear God. I know you know what you're doing. Please help me to trust you.
I will now retire to my bed for a while, as tears are finally coming freely.
2008-07-08
Edith
I'm not sure what my readers are supposed to get from this, but it's nice writing out thoughts to people.
I just wrote you a reasonably long email in reply to yours from nearly a three weeks ago. You probably won't get it until Friday.
Five months ago we were spending several hours together every day of the week. We could detect nearly every change in emotion either one of us had, because we knew each other that well. We were the very best of friends. Now we haven't spoken a word or even seen each other for over a quarter of a year.
I miss you. I wonder how you are, how you're doing, how you're handling not having me or Neema to share your thoughts with. Does Brian or Daryl help you with your algebra now? Are you still enjoying it? Are you still happy? I hope you are my friend. I hope you are not dying inside while the rest of the world is amazed by your apparent cheerfulness. Brian is always there, and would be happy to help you any time he can. Or, perhaps even better, Ma. She helped you a lot when I left, right? She is good at understanding emotions, and will freely share from her massive pool of knowledge if you want or need advice. If nothing else, give her a hug every now and then. You both need them.
I wonder where we'll be in the future? Will you join Neema at college? Will I join Brian back in Zambia? Let's look at it an an exciting adventure. We don't know where the next path will lead to, but lets enjoy the ones we're on right now, and explore them fully.
I just wrote you a reasonably long email in reply to yours from nearly a three weeks ago. You probably won't get it until Friday.
Five months ago we were spending several hours together every day of the week. We could detect nearly every change in emotion either one of us had, because we knew each other that well. We were the very best of friends. Now we haven't spoken a word or even seen each other for over a quarter of a year.
I miss you. I wonder how you are, how you're doing, how you're handling not having me or Neema to share your thoughts with. Does Brian or Daryl help you with your algebra now? Are you still enjoying it? Are you still happy? I hope you are my friend. I hope you are not dying inside while the rest of the world is amazed by your apparent cheerfulness. Brian is always there, and would be happy to help you any time he can. Or, perhaps even better, Ma. She helped you a lot when I left, right? She is good at understanding emotions, and will freely share from her massive pool of knowledge if you want or need advice. If nothing else, give her a hug every now and then. You both need them.
I wonder where we'll be in the future? Will you join Neema at college? Will I join Brian back in Zambia? Let's look at it an an exciting adventure. We don't know where the next path will lead to, but lets enjoy the ones we're on right now, and explore them fully.
What's with the name?
Okay, so, I'm just starting this thing. I'm still not sure exactly what kind of things I'm going to be writing on here, but I guess I'll start out by explaining my title.
To know someone very well is actually quite difficult. In general, a large amount of time is required to truly get to know someone very well. Doing various things with them helps you to get to know them better, because each of those things reveals another part of who they are. For example, by spending time with someone in these two situations, you can learn entirely different things about them.
Situation 1: You are with your friend at Dollywood. He/She has been there three times before, but it is your first time, and he/she has brought you there for your birthday. You follow them most of the time, enjoying their telling you about different things to do, the fun rides with them, and most of all, the time of being with them and sharing experiences together.
Situation 2: One of your very best friends just died yesterday. After going to the funeral this morning, you are now at church for a Wednesday night prayer meeting. After the service you find you've wondered off alone to cry. Your parents will most likely still be there for over an hour, but all you want to do is go home to bed and cry. The same friend who brought you to Dollywood now finds you. He/She doesn't even know your friend who just died, but the one time they did meet, they had somewhat of a personality clash.
Hopefully this illustrates my point: Doing and sharing different things with people teaches you more and more about them. Each thing reveals a small part of them to you, and a small part of you to them.
This blog is revealing a small part of me to it's readers. Nobody could get to know me completely by reading this, but everyone who reads it will probably get to know another small part of who I am.
To know someone very well is actually quite difficult. In general, a large amount of time is required to truly get to know someone very well. Doing various things with them helps you to get to know them better, because each of those things reveals another part of who they are. For example, by spending time with someone in these two situations, you can learn entirely different things about them.
Situation 1: You are with your friend at Dollywood. He/She has been there three times before, but it is your first time, and he/she has brought you there for your birthday. You follow them most of the time, enjoying their telling you about different things to do, the fun rides with them, and most of all, the time of being with them and sharing experiences together.
Situation 2: One of your very best friends just died yesterday. After going to the funeral this morning, you are now at church for a Wednesday night prayer meeting. After the service you find you've wondered off alone to cry. Your parents will most likely still be there for over an hour, but all you want to do is go home to bed and cry. The same friend who brought you to Dollywood now finds you. He/She doesn't even know your friend who just died, but the one time they did meet, they had somewhat of a personality clash.
Hopefully this illustrates my point: Doing and sharing different things with people teaches you more and more about them. Each thing reveals a small part of them to you, and a small part of you to them.
This blog is revealing a small part of me to it's readers. Nobody could get to know me completely by reading this, but everyone who reads it will probably get to know another small part of who I am.
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