I'm always happy, I'm always cheerful. I never get depressed, because if I even start to feel down, I just focus on all that God has blessed me with, and the beauty of His creation, and all that I don't understand about it just adds to it's beauty and magnificence.
All of that is true about me, right? So why am I having a hard time working, or doing anything seriously. Why do I just feel like crying, yet am still unable to? Will this pain of missing people go away eventually? I guess it will be like it was with Kasemuka. But she was gone before I could even get to know her. But my family?
Me and my brother Brian have always planned everything together. Our lives are (were?) tied together in all of our plans. But now? What happens to all our dreams? What happens to that priceless closeness? I don't want to think of this being apart as anything but temporary. But is it temporary? And if not, why? WHY!?
Dear, dear God. I know you know what you're doing. Please help me to trust you.
I will now retire to my bed for a while, as tears are finally coming freely.
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